New year, new you, right? Wrong-o!! I have decided that since this year I will be celebrating a milestone birthday (29…again), instead of facing the daunting task of transforming myself into something I’m not, I will just start appreciating the features with which the good Lord has blessed me. So here goes:
1. Eyes exactly the same color as a newborn’s transitional stools, but still possess 20/20 vision, especially for hindsight. Eyebrows that if left ungroomed would resemble one of Jim Henson’s muppet creations.
Tales of a mountain nurse
by Daniell Mickey Shertzer
2. A nose that could be the site of the next down hill winter Olympics ski event, yet possesses a sense of smell so keen, I can diagnose Clostridium difficile (aka C. Diff) with 98% accuracy from 3 rooms down.
3. Enough cleavage to catch a dropped Dorito while I’m eating, but only if I’m wearing a bra.
4. Childbearing hips that allowed for a precipitous second stage of labor, but remain dimpled and doughy regardless of how many squats I do (which is basically none, unless you count squatting down to pick up the Dorito I dropped earlier because I wasn’t wearing a bra).
5. A soft, smooth complexion that, regardless of the SPF I use, goes from porcelain to lobster and then peels off in large hunks back to porcelain.
6. A smile so big that I was once mistaken for an Osmond. But hey, how many other girls from West Virginia can boast about still having all of their original teeth?
7. A sarcastic, self-deprecating sense of humor that makes it all easier to accept.
In all honesty, I realize that although I am making light of my flaws, I am exceptionally blessed just to have a healthy mind and body. We all need embrace our strengths, rather than our weaknesses. And in 2015, I plan on doing just that.
Daniell Mickey Shertzer is a nurse, a wife and mother of two children who lives in a small town just like yours.
